A Setback Does Not Mean Failure

So…If you have been following along, you know that I struggle with mental health. The transition from residential treatment back to home has been difficult and filled with challenges. I am trying, and even though I experience setbacks from time to time, I am still moving forward.

Recovery is not a one-time event. It is not something you accomplish once and then never think about again. Recovery is a daily choice—a daily fight. Some days are easier than others. Some days feel impossible.

There are moments when I feel like I just cannot keep going, when the mountain in front of me feels too steep to climb. Those are the moments when it becomes most important to lean on a support network. Friends, family, therapists, helplines, or anyone willing to sit with you in the hard moments can make a difference.

This weekend, I had a setback.

I am trying to learn from what happened and reflect on where I might have reached out for support or used crisis resources before the urges became overwhelming. I feel guilty and ashamed about what happened, but I also know I need to practice radical acceptance. It happened. I cannot change that. What I can do is try to understand it and move forward.

In that moment, I felt overwhelmed and alone, like I had nowhere to turn. It is a sickening feeling. I know that self-harm is not a healthy solution, but the urge felt incredibly strong. I wanted relief from the intensity of what I was feeling.

Next time—and realistically, there may be a next time—I want to remember that I can ask for help. That is the difficult part: asking. I worry about being seen as weak or “crazy,” even though I know that reaching out is neither of those things.

The truth is, sometimes I just need help.

And maybe part of recovery is learning that asking for help is not weakness—it is courage.

More later…