Almost

So…I have about a day and a half left at this residential treatment facility. It’s hard to believe that after two months here, I’m almost at the finish line. During this time, I’ve learned so much about myself and developed a toolbox full of DBT skills that I know will continue to help me long after I leave.

Even with all of that growth, I feel a little nervous about going home. Here, I’ve had support and care around the clock. The environment has been intentionally safe—no sharps, constant supervision, and people available whenever I needed help. That level of safety has allowed me to focus on healing, learning, and practicing new ways to cope.

Lately, though, as my discharge date gets closer, I’ve noticed my anxiety increasing—and with it, my urges. I’m doing everything I can to resist those thoughts and not give in to them. It feels like the closer I get to leaving, the louder those internal struggles try to become.

Another patient and I were talking about this recently. She shared something that stuck with me: when you’re almost out, the demons try to claw you back harder than ever. It’s a powerful image, and in many ways, it feels true. This final stretch isn’t just about waiting to leave—it’s about being resilient and staying committed to the progress I’ve made.

I’m leaning heavily on the skills I’ve learned here. I know these thoughts and urges may not disappear entirely, but they don’t have to control me. I can keep them at bay. I can sit with discomfort, use my coping strategies, and remind myself that I am stronger than the urges that try to pull me backward.

This last day and a half feels both exciting and intimidating. It marks the end of one chapter and the beginning of another—one where I take everything I’ve learned and apply it in the real world. That thought is scary, but it’s also empowering.

More later…