I’m here and here I’ll Stay

• So… if you’ve been following along, you know I was preparing to enter Residential Care for depression and anxiety. I’m here now. I was admitted this morning.

  It’s been a challenging day. I’ve filled out countless forms, answered many questions, and had my belongings searched. A few items were restricted or not allowed—paint brushes because of the metal piece that holds the bristles. Better safe than sorry.

  My anxiety is high, and the urges I struggle with haven’t disappeared. When I feel overwhelmed, I want to ease the anxiety by cutting. I know that isn’t a healthy coping strategy. I’m here to learn better ones.

  One technique that’s been especially helpful for me is called “Temperature.” You place an ice pack on your forehead, lean forward so your head is lower than your heart, hold your breath, and count to thirty. It often gives me a “brain freeze” feeling—like eating ice cream too fast. The sensation sort of shocks my system and interrupts my thought pattern. It really does help. The hard part is remembering to use it in the moment.

  The facility itself is nice, and the people here have been kind and welcoming. I’ve met most of the others on my floor, and they’ve been generous in helping me figure out where to go and what to do.

  This is going to be a long journey, but I’ve taken the first step. More later…