The latest update

So…I know it’s been a while since I last posted. I’ve been going through some really challenging things lately, and that has left me feeling drained and overwhelmed. Much of the trauma in my life happened during my teenage years. I know that was a long time ago, but I bottled up those feelings for 43 years, and it takes a huge effort to finally bring them into the light.

Feelings of shame and guilt are hard enough to deal with on their own, but when they’ve been repressed for so long, it becomes an even greater challenge. These feelings started breaking through and caused me a great deal of anxiety and depression. As much as I tried to keep them at bay, I just couldn’t.

My therapist and I have been digging into these thoughts and feelings, and I’ve been using a strategy called Thought Challenging to explore my negative thoughts and emotions. This strategy helps bring cognitive distortions to light and allows me to reframe negative thoughts into more balanced and positive ones. It’s not an easy strategy to use—it takes effort and practice.

In addition, I’ve been working on self-compassion. I’ve realized that I am often not kind to myself and tend to use a lot of negative self-talk. As I’ve continued working on this, I’ve noticed that my self-talk has started to become somewhat kinder.

I am still experiencing feelings of depression and anxiety, but their severity is gradually decreasing. I still have troubling urges, but they are happening less frequently than before. I continue to make progress, even though sometimes it’s slower—and harder—than I expected.

But I’m going to keep working on it. More later…