PTSD and WET

So…I am currently attending a trauma Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) for treatment of PTSD related to events that happened during my childhood and teenage years. It has been a difficult road, but I am trying to do the work of healing.

According to the American Psychological Association, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is:

“A disorder that may result when an individual lives through or witnesses an event in which they believe that there is a threat to life or physical integrity and safety and experiences fear, terror, or helplessness.”

PTSD symptoms can include reliving traumatic experiences through painful memories, flashbacks, or nightmares; avoiding reminders of the trauma; feeling emotionally numb or disconnected from others; and living in a constant state of heightened alertness. It can affect sleep, concentration, memory, and even bring feelings of guilt or shame.

For treatment, my program is using something called Written Exposure Therapy (WET). According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs National Center for PTSD, WET is a short-term therapy in which a person writes about their traumatic experiences and the emotions connected to them over the course of five sessions.

The idea behind it is simple, though not easy: many people with PTSD avoid thinking about their trauma because it feels unbearable. Avoidance may help in the short term, but it often keeps the pain alive in the long run. WET works by helping a person gradually face those memories through writing, learning over time that the emotions, while painful, can be tolerated. The hope is that the memories become less overwhelming and less controlling.

I haven’t started the writing portion yet. That begins this week, and if I’m being honest, I’m anxious about it. Writing about trauma feels intimidating. I know there are things I have spent years trying not to think about, and now I am being asked to put them on paper.

At the same time, I’ve been struggling with urges to self-harm. The urges are there, and they are loud some days. But I am using my DBT skills—especially opposite action and STOP—and they are helping. I haven’t acted on the urges. That matters.

This part of healing is hard. Really hard. But I am still here, still fighting, and still trying. I can beat these demons.

More later…