So what’s in a name

So…I’ve been working closely with my doctor to better understand what’s going on and to adjust my medications. Getting an accurate diagnosis is important because it helps guide the direction of treatment. Right now, my diagnoses include:

• Major Depressive Disorder, recurrent, severe

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder

• Trauma and PTSD

• Borderline Personality Disorder

That’s a lot to carry. My therapist explained that trauma can often contribute to both depression and anxiety, so addressing the trauma directly may help ease those symptoms. We’ve started that work, and it’s incredibly difficult. I’m revisiting feelings and experiences I’ve kept buried and haven’t shared with anyone. But I know that bringing them into the open is an essential step toward healing, even though it feels overwhelming.

At the same time, we’re adjusting my medications. We’re working to taper off one medication because the side effects outweigh the benefits, and the plan is to replace it with something new. We’re also trying to improve my sleep, since I’ve been waking up around 4:00 a.m., which is very early for me.

All of these changes are happening while I’m processing trauma, which has left me feeling emotionally fragile. At times, it’s felt like I’m slipping into a downward spiral. I’m grateful to be in a safe, supportive environment, because outside of it, I might have acted in ways that could have harmed me. I’m doing my best to manage the thoughts and feelings, even though they still come up.

This is a difficult journey. But I am in a safe place. I am in a safe place. I am in a safe place.

More later…