Early To Rise Is Early To Rise
So…
It seems that sleep has become a stranger lately. For the past week or so, I’ve been waking up around 4:00 a.m. every morning and usually give up trying to fall back asleep by 4:30. It’s not because I’m staying up too late. I’m usually in bed by about 10:00 each night.
The problem is that my mind refuses to shut off.
Anxiety, depression, worries about my upcoming Minnesota Paid Leave court date (next week, and I’ll let you know how it goes), and Written Exposure Therapy (WET) all seem to compete for my attention. By the time morning arrives, I’m already exhausted. Sleep deprivation makes it harder to think clearly and even harder to keep my emotions in check.
One thing that has been helping is walking. I’ve been walking about five miles a day at a pace in the low 15-minute miles. It feels good to move my body, even though the Minnesota heat has made those walks a little more challenging. I put on some music and try to focus on the rhythm of my steps, but my mind often wanders back to everything that is weighing on me. Rumination has a way of following you, even on the longest walks.
I know I’m doing important work. I’m trying to get to the root of my trauma and finally begin to heal. But healing is hard work.
If you’ve been following along, you know that I was sexually assaulted when I was 13 years old. I buried those memories for forty-three years. Everything finally came to a head on January 26, 2026, when I ended up at EmPATH. Since then, I’ve been climbing out of a very deep depression. While I’ve made progress, the anxiety has been much more stubborn. It doesn’t seem ready to let go.
Some days, anxiety feels like a constant companion, whispering worst-case scenarios and making even ordinary tasks feel overwhelming. Every day is an exercise in pushing back against it and choosing to keep moving forward.
What helps you manage anxiety? If you have something that works for you, I'd love to hear about it. Leave a comment and share your ideas.
Today, I’m tired. I’m irritable. But I’m still here, and I’m going to keep doing my best. Sometimes, that's enough.
More later…